I feel like I need to talk about what I didn’t do today. I didn’t go to the March for Our Lives. I have no excuse for that. I guess I’ve been feeling apathetic about the state of the world. I was much more active right after Trump was elected. But what was warned about has come to pass. He has been normalized – for me anyway – and because of that, I feel a little powerless.

I remember the first protest I went to in 2004. It was either against the Iraq War or the Republican National Convention (we were marching past MSG) or just George W. Bush and everything he stood for. We waited on 7th Avenue for at least an hour just to start moving and we were supposed to march all the way to Union Square but once we all turned the corner onto 34th Street, everyone kind of dispersed and the whole march petered out. Bush was re-elected and the Iraq War continues to this day.

I went to the Women’s March right after Trump was elected. That was great but more because it made me feel less alone in the wake of the election.

When it came to today, I don’t know why I didn’t go. I’m not cynical enough to think that it won’t do anything. I think gathering with other people to have your voice heard does make a difference. I just didn’t go and if it hasn’t been abundantly clear thus far, I’ll state it plainly – I’m trying to reckon with that.

So, what did I do today? I slept in. I got a venti coffee. I got my hair cut. I went to SOHO to buy some jeans (when I got on the N to go home, I saw a woman with a sign with a circle around an AR-15 with a line through it, Ghostbusters style, and I remembered, “oh yeah…”). I ran five miles through Prospect Park.

In light of what I have just written, it’s been kind of a privilegey day.