If you don’t have the EMV chip – or Europay, Mastercard, and Visa – in your credit or debit card, you will soon. Simply swiping your credit card is a thing of the past. Your new and improved credit card is now equipped with a computer chip and sophisticated technology to authenticate transactions.

I’m as worried as anyone about fraud and data breaches. Thankfully, we have this new and improved process that, in my experience, has gone down in one of two ways.

Scenario 1

Okay, sir, oh, no our chip readers don’t work yet. Go ahead and swipe.

Scenario 2

Oh, sir, did you swipe? If your card has a chip, don’t swipe. Okay, insert it into the chip slot. Okay. Hold on. Hold… Wait. Don’t… Okay, let’s try this again. Insert the card. Don’t remove it… okay, sir? Don’t remove the card until it says to remove the card. [Sales associate and I both pause] Okay, It’s not working. Huh. Okay. Hold on. [Sales associate types something on keyboard] Okay, now, swipe, then insert your card. [I insert my card] No, swipe. [I swipe too fast] Wait. Okay, NOW swipe. Okay, NOW insert your card. Huh. Okay. Let’s try this again. Insert your card. Okay, it’s going through this time.

Thank God for the chip! You see, swiping your credit card is not secure. Having a chip in your credit card is secure. Because computers.