There’s a mouse in my apartment and he’s an asshole.

I caught him in the kitchen in the midst of ravaging a bag of my girlfriend’s cooking supplies. It was a standoff. There he was, in the bottom of the canvas bag in a pile of brown sugar that had leaked out of the bag he chewed through. He stayed still. I stayed still. I didn’t want to scare him. And he was just a cute little mouse. How bad could he be?

I think I violated a law of the jungle because since then he’s been shitting on things, running along the baseboards like he’s not even scared of the humans.

This mouse doesn’t know what I’m capable of:

I’ve gone medieval. This mouse doesn’t even know.

But, much like a Liam Neeson movie that begins and ends in the first act, those days are behind me. I don’t want to go glue trap. I don’t want to go old fashioned trap. I could live with the brutality but my girlfriend would rather not have mouse guts in the apartment. So, I decided to go buy an ethical trap, the kind where you trap and release the mouse.

But the local hardware store didn’t have the traps I was looking for and I didn’t have time today to get to Home Depot. So, during some work downtime, I looked up some mousetrap tutorials and I found this one:

It looked petty cool to me, so, I gave it a shot. It currently sits in my kitchen. I have no idea if it will work. There is a little space between the bottle and the cap, so, this mouse could perhaps make his way out. He might avoid it altogether.

I’ll keep you posted.