It’s Not A Metaphor For Our Relationship

Here's the thing, I think my girlfriend is going to break up with me. Not anytime soon and not for any reason in particular but just perpetually.

Diary of a Month Without Coffee

For some reason, I feel the need to hit the reset button on my caffeine intake. I did it again this February.

Some Thoughts on Thirty-nine

I'm through saying "I'm so old." Frankly, I'm old enough to realize that I'm young.

Terry’s Present

The summer after third grade, my parents hired a contractor to do some work on our house. I learned a lot about adults that summer.


Barking

You yell like one of those guys at a baseball game, only you yell about stand-up comedy, not hot dogs or Budweiser. This is barking.

On My Twenty-Ninth Birthday, I Bought a Skateboard

I wrote this a decade ago. I wanted to ollie before I turned 30 but life got in the way. Carpe diem, people.

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On Social Media Mourning

I'm not saying this to be a jerk or a contrarian but I never really got David Bowie. I thought all of the tributes were a little over the top but it wasn't my place to say so because I thought about a recent death that did move me. It was Robin Williams.

Made In Brooklyn

I know very little about my parents' courtship or their wedding. I also know very little about the day that I was born. I do, however, know where I was conceived.

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Leave

Over the past few years there has been a spate of articles decrying the lost soul of New York. If New York is so devoid of culture and just like any other city and it's just a corporate shell of its former self, then you can leave.

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On Becoming a Man Sorta

I think that any concept I have of masculinity comes from my father's benevolent nihilism and I always wondered if not having a dad himself made him so atypically dad-like.

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Pot And Me: An Acquaintance Story

I'm amazed that I was never a pot head. Growing up in the suburbs of upstate New York, I had shoulder length hair, wore Birkenstocks, and liked jam band music. Hell, I went to Phish concerts sober. Who does that?

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It Was Just A Car

After having paid yet another parking ticket and after driving with the check engine light on for a week, I decided that it was time to get rid of my car.

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