I once did a bringer (a stand-up comedy show in a club where you have to bring a certain amount of paying customers, each of whom has to buy a two drink minimum) after I got laid off from a job. A bunch of people were laid off with me and they all came. I think I was required to bring seven or eight? I brought twenty-seven.* It was great timing because the day we all got laid off, I was like, “Hey, I’ve got a bringer tonight!”

* I got a tape of it and when the emcee announces me, there is a thunder of applause and you can see the emcee visibly surprised. Later, in the bar, I heard someone say derisively, “…someone brought twenty-seven people.”

In that set, I had a joke about how losing a job is like being dumped. I believe my act out was crying about how sometimes you think you’ve found the right company but then you find out they’re like all the other companies. It was pretty brilliant.

It was also kind of true. Getting let go can feel like getting dumped, albeit a really low stakes dumping but one that also threatens your livelihood.

There are different flavors to getting let go from a job, much like breakups. There are times when it’s mutual. There are times when you see it coming and you’re resigned to it by the time it happens. But then there are the kind that take you by surprise and knock the wind out of you.

If you’re not a web developer, you might not be as familiar as we are with recruiters. If you have a LinkedIn profile and that profile contains “HTML,” “CSS,” or “Javascript” you will be contacted by recruiters quite a bit.

At first it’s flattering. “Hey, my skills are really in demand. I’m at the cutting edge of the blah blah blah.” Soon, after a few dozen, you realized that they’re essentially cold calling you.

And I don’t want to knock recruiters. The reason I thought to write this was because I got a call recently from an old company I used to work with. A co-worker overheard me say, “Sorry but I’m in a full time right now. Thanks, though.”

“Recruiter, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I wanted to take the call and talk because they’ve done well by me.”

And they really did. A few recruiters that I’ve worked with multiple times have set me up with great gigs and helped me land full time roles.

So, a lot of recruiters are great. And some of them suck.

Last spring, I was in need of a job. Freelance work was coming in at a trickle and I needed more work and a place to go (working from home is not the dream everyone thinks it is). So, when I got an email from Andrew (that’s his actual name, it’s generic enough no one will know this actual guy, and if they do, whatever) I was willing to give it a shot. He had two cool roles, they sounded legit. He was calling a lot. He was ready to meet with me.

This was the courting phase.

Soon we set up an interview with a company that sounded like a match. I went in. The company was cool. I liked the guy that I would be working for. It was a six month contract, temp to perm, which I really liked.

And then Andrew and I had a talk. Am I looking at other companies, if so, what are they, etc.? He might as well have come right out and said it, “So, uh, you’re not seeing any other recruiters, are you?”

Things were getting a little more serious.

And then I waited, waited for the offer that Andrew assured me was coming through. Weeks went by. No call. I would call and he wouldn’t return my call.

I was getting strung along. And that’s when I had the realization. This isn’t dating. This is business for Christ’s sake, if I don’t have the job just tell me I don’t have it.

Then one day, he called. I got the job but finance was having a hard time putting the request for the contract through, so, it would be a three month contract at first.

Okay, I can deal with that. I was good to go.

I got to the job and this company that seemed so cool was actually kind of lifeless. Three quarters of the desks were empty and it was dark in the office. My boss was in the midwest visiting family and I had to skype with him for the first week. It was weird.

But also on that first day, I signed a bunch of paper work. And the H.R. representative handed it over and said, “Okay, so for your two month contract…”

“Wait, two months?”

“Yeah.”

I called Andrew.

“Hey, man, the contract is for two months.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, don’t worry about that. It’s just finance, they love you, don’t sweat it.”

I worked for about a month, not being invited to meetings and having a few people refer to me as “the freelancer who’s helping us out on a project.”

And then, about five weeks into the job, I got a call from Andrew.

“Hey, so, I just need to tell you that your contract is going to expire at the end of next week. Yeah. Take that in, okay?”

I was calm at first but then I was confused. I called Andrew. What happened?

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I mean, I’ve been doing this for a while and I’ve never seen anything like this. I mean, I’m starting to question if I should do business with this company again. I’m really thinking that, I have to be honest with you here. But look, you’re a good guy and I feel bad. Really, I do. Like, this… oh man. I’m as shocked as you are! So, look, whatever you need. With all of my other clients, I’m selling you first. Need resume help? Send it over! Seriously! I feel like I owe you, man. Really. I’m going to do everything I can to help you out so that you land on your feet.”

The following Friday I left that office. I sent Andrew my newly updated resume for notes. I never heard from him again.

I’ve heard a pretty callous dating theory. If you’re in a dry spell, you should jut go out and try to hook up with someone, anyone. I believe the term for this person is a “slump buster.” And I think that I was Andrew’s slump buster. I think he was new at his firm. He needed a win and needed to get someone signed to a contract, so, he got me.

I still don’t know what happened. Was he lying about the length of the contract from the beginning? Did that company not want to hire someone but he kept pushing me and pushing me until they relented on one small project? Was I just really bad on the job and that company got rid of me? All of those things are possible.

All’s fair in love and war. But a job is neither. What the hell was that?