You’re older now than Jesus Christ was when he was born.

Charlemagne came to power over twelve hundred years ago.

Werner Herzog made a documentary about those cave drawings your mom did.

This is what Jonathan Taylor Thomas looks like now:

This year’s class of college freshman were born after Donald Trump was elected president.

My niece didn’t know who Aristophanes was.

Remember when they added the number four?

If Kurt Cobain were alive today, he’d be ninety-seven.

SOHO, New York City, 1994:

Remember when gold was free?

My daughter’s appendix is vestigial.

You five year high school reunion is this weekend. WHAT?!

Remember the land bridge between Alaska and Asia?

The Breaking Bad finale was in 2013.

Henry Winkler was dead when he played The Fonz on Happy Days.

My students don’t know what an iPhone 7 is.

This is what coal looks like now: