I’m tired and I don’t want to write. That is the biggest problem that I face at this very moment.
Bill Cosby was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison for the sexual assault of just one of his victims. I don’t even know the number of accusers he has. It was the first thing I saw when I turned on the television when I got home from rehearsal. I should feel for his victims. I should be angry at everyone, including myself, who thought of his behavior as a rumor. But what I really think as I look at him and feel simultaneously numb and nauseated is how could you?
Today I saw a friend of a friend on Facebook say that, with the questioning of Brett Kavanaugh over sexual assault claims, the Democrats have reached a new low. I didn’t question that person but I think his point was that discerning whether or not a person we elect to the highest court in our country for life is sexual predator is merely politics. I fear the way some people think.
When it comes time to write, I always look inward. The charge of self absorption has always struck me as an empty insult. With whom else should one be obsessed? There is so much going on around me, right now, at this point in history. But when I lay my fingers on the keys of my laptop, all I can think is, “I’m tired and I don’t want to write.”
Observing the things that occupy my mind from moment to moment is absurd.
The president of the United States was laughed at while giving a speech at the U.N. today. I also got my bib for the Bronx 10 Mile race on Sunday. My hip is kind of bothering me. Who’s Rod Rosenstein again? Should I buy coffee tomorrow morning or make it myself? How long will Putin be president of Russia? Shouldn’t it be colder for fall? I hope I don’t have to buy a new oven.
The vacillation between trivial and substantive is kind of funny but also troubling. Shouldn’t I concern myself with world news and events? Even if I feel overwhelmed by all of it, shouldn’t that concern me?
I don’t have an answer, I’m asking.
Like I said, I’m tired and I can go to sleep now because I’ve written.
