The World Cup kicks off on a few minutes and I thought I’d take a shot at some predictions for group winners. They’re all based on a general feeling and in every group, I’ve probably made the most obvious choices. There will be at least one disappointing performance and one miracle performance, like Brazil not getting out of the group stage and Iran winning their group.
As you’ll see, I have chosen neither of those outcomes but something like that will happen. I just happen to be playing the odds here, picking most European powerhouses to win.
Group A
- Uruguay
- Russia
- Egypt
- Saudi Arabia
Russia will go through because home field advantage actually matters (according to Soccernomics, anyway). And if you doubt that they’ll make a showing this tournament, I suggest you watch Icarus. Uruguay will go through, too (I hate Luiz Suarez). I don’t know Salah’s status at the moment but I’m doubting his ability to carry Egypt through to the round of 16. I have no idea about Saudi Arabia because the vast majority of Saudi Arabian players play in the Saudi league. They’re a bit of a wild card but I doubt their ability to do any real damage.
Group B
- Spain
- Portugal
- Morocco
- Iran
God I hate Portugal and only because I hate Ronaldo. That’s how much I hate Ronaldo: so much that it translates to hatred for his entire country. (Anyone want to bet which game Pepe receives his red card in?) But Portugal still won the Euros in 2016 so I have to pick them to move to the next stage. Also, despite the hate, I love Carvalho’s mustache. Spain will win the group despite the coaching change. If Morocco or Iran progressed, I would be very surprised.
Group C
- France
- Denmark
- Australia
- Peru
Despite France drawing the US in a friendly recently, they’re still full of stars. If anything, that disappointment will remind them to step it up this World Cup. And I just can’t see Australia or Peru doing any damage. This year a Dane won a Stanley Cup for the first time, it’s the Danes’ year. Much like Sweden missing their most arrogant star, Denmark will be without Nicklas Bendtner, which I think will help them. Why? Hell, I don’t know. My predictions, my rules.
Group D
- Argentina
- Nigeria
- Croatia
- Iceland
I want to see Iceland do well but I have to be realistic. Argentina is too good not to win the group and I like both Croatia and Nigeria but I just have a feeling that Modric alone won’t be enough to get Croatia through to the round of 16. So, Nigeria it is.
Group E
- Brazil
- Costa Rica
- Switzerland
- Serbia
Brazil’s going to win this group. Costa Rica was a surprise last tournament making it to the quarters. It’s hard to tell if they’ll make it that far again but Switzerland and Serbia strike me as average teams.
Group F
- Germany
- Mexico
- Sweden
- South Korea
Germany’s going to win this group because they’re Germany. Other than that, it’s a toss up between Mexico and Sweden (sorry, Heung-min Son) and we need some North American representation.
Group G
- England
- Belgium
- Tunisia
- Panama
This may be wishful thinking having England top the group but that’s what I’d like to see happen. In any event, if both England and Belgium don’t make it out of this group, something will have gone wrong.
Group H
- Colombia
- Senegal
- Poland
- Japan
One of my favorite things about New York is seeing all of the Colombian jerseys whenever Colombia’s playing in a tournament. And, let’s be honest, I have a perennial love for Colombia because of Valdrramma’s hair and the scorpion kick.
Russia and Saudi Arabia play in about 10 minutes.
Tomorrow I will be wearing my Portugal jersey to support Spain and test the jersey curse.
Happy World Cup, everyone.
